The Miscellany Continues

If you clap your hands a few inches above where they are sitting, flies do not stand a chance.
On an evaluation form, after asking how many computer labs and mechanical drawing workshops your school has, the Ministry of Education asks if your school has running water or electricity.
6 year olds scale sand dunes effortlessly.
It is far harder to get halfway up a dune than you think it is to get to the top.
Don’t bother collecting cardboard boxes from a KFC dumpster because it is impossible to ride one down a dune.
Any hair longer than a buzz is a tragic waste of water.
There is over 50% unemployment in Namibia.
The government spent over N$500 million building a new statehouse which you are forbidden to photograph.
My public school has 700 learners and one janitor.
Derrick the professional sky-diver refers to 10,000 feet as “party time”.
Sky-diving after the parachute is pulled is scarier than the free-fall because Derrick insists on performing hairpin turns that place your bodies above the chute.
There is a bar in Namibia called “The Bruce Lee”.
Another is called “Vanilla Ice Bar”.
Yet another is called “Back of the Moon Bar”.
I have never been in any of these establishments; it’s just that it would be an understatement to say that a substantial portion of buildings in Namibia are bars.
When your friend’s colleague says he needs two minutes to shower before leaving, he means that he is keeping you in his house for 3 hours while his sisters cook you chicken and porridge.
Hot chicken and porridge is spectacular.
If one teacher tells you that you aren’t allowed to return your exams to your learners before the rest of the exams are finished, and another teacher tells you that you can, just do whatever the hell you think is best.
The little boy that I play peek-a-boo with is named “Saddam Hussein.”
I call him “Okamati” (little boy).
Learners cannot believe it if you tell them that you don’t care if they write in pencil or pen.
I haven’t yet dared tell them I would prefer pencil for fear of hyperventilation or cardiac arrest.
If you lend a learner a pen, be sure to take one of their shoes as collateral.
I can wipe sand off my feet with my feet.
If thirst compels you to slug down a liter and a half of LiquiFruit Juice, expect to be doubled over in pain about 2 hours later.
If on your field trip your school provides you with cans of jam and no can-opener ask an employee at the local market to open them.
He uses a machete.
Jeopardy! test reviews are a sure-fire favorite lesson.
If a kid doesn’t read simply because there are no books available, just give him or her something with words on it and you will have to pry it away.

To be continued….